Alright that's it, no more jumping out of planes for me.

Man, you should’ve seen my buddies when I walked into work last week. Turns out that the latest Phenomena and Observation File, the one that I uhh.. posted .. on Reddit ended up making quite a few laps around the water cooler, much to the dismay of my superiors. Normally case files like this aren’t made public, as the sheer scale of the damage and loss of human life is not meant for public consumption and could potentially open the Crown up to damaging lawsuits. My superiors were mad enough to spit fire. Literally. Then the absolute cherry on top: the bit I wrote about letting the human girl go? Apparently that small, inconsequential detail got copy pasted onto some orange-haired, Love Island-wannabe troll’s gossip page and went viral. Luckily, at that point, the Cousins had gotten wind of what was happening downstream and went full-executioner style and censored my name from everything. Also, and I didn’t realize it was happening at the time, but apparently the troll had gone full Survivor-meets-Hunger Games and created a reality type TV-show that attempted to find that human girl. That troll, along with the help of a few weasel-faced producers, rounded up terrified…

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Alright that’s it, no more jumping out of planes for me.

Updated: November 26, 2021 — 9:27 pm